Blue's Clues
(We start with a black screen that’s part of the review. After a while, the G-man walks into frame) G-man: What the-? No episode today? (He shrugs) That kinda sucks… (The intro starts playing) Oh, shit! (He runs offscreen as the intro continues to play. When it ends, we cut to the G-man sitting down at his desk in his room) G-man: Alright! We get to do an episode! Which is great, because it’s finally time to review the Blue’s Clues reboot: Blue’s Clues & You! (The opening theme starts as clips from the show begin to play) G-man (V.O): I’ve been anticipating this ever since it was first announced! Many speculated on who the host would be, and it was revealed that actor Joshua Dela Cruz would play the part. Sure, Nick Jr’s remaking old episodes, but hey! At least it’s happening! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Well, I can’t contain my excitement any longer! This is- (He is interrupted by a knock at his door) Can it wait? (The door opens to reveal Jack) Jack: Aren’t you forgetting someone? G-man (Sighing): Oh right. (To the camera): Sorry, I forgot I promised to let Jacksfilms review this with me. Jack: Let’s go. (Cut to the two on a couch in the G-man’s living room. This is where they spend the rest of the review) G-man: Alright. Now we’re ready! Jack: This is Blue’s Clues & You! (Cut to the opening of the first episode) G-man (V.O): Today, we’ll be reviewing the first two episodes since those were the only ones I could find online for free. Our first episode is titled "Meet Josh!", and here we go! It opens with Josh and Blue having graham crackers for a snack, but something is missing. And comedically, Josh doesn’t know what it is. Josh (To audience): I don’t know what to do. (He gasps and stands up) Maybe I should call my cousins. On my Handy Dandy… (He pulls out his…) Notebook! Check it out: Notebook on one side, (He flips it around to reveal a…) phone on the other! (Cut back to the duo) G-man: A notebook/phone combination? Wow! That’s totally not something (The word "iPhone" slowly appears) that exists in real life! Jack: What will they think of next? (Cut back to the episode) Jack (V.O): Anyway, Josh calls his cousin… Steve: Blue Prints Detective Agency; finding clues is what I do. Josh: Steve, hi! It’s me, Josh! Steve: Oh! Hey, Josh! (Cut back to the duo squealing in excitement) Jack: Steve! The OG! G-man: God, I love today! (Cut back to the episode. Joe appears) Joe: Present Store. Joe here. (Cut back to the duo) G-man: Oh. Hey, Joe… (Jack yawns in boredom) No reason to overreact. (Cut back to the episode) Steve and Joe (Simultaneously): So, what’s going on? Josh: Well… I don’t know what Blue wants with her snack. Steve and Joe (Simultaneously): Ohhh! Let us talk to her. (Cut to a bit later in the episode) Josh: So? Steve (Solo): Well, we talked it over. And there’s really only one thing to do. Joe (Solo): Yep. Just one thing. Josh: What? Steve and Joe (Simultaneously): Play Blue’s Clues! Josh: Play Blue’s Clues, of course! Why didn’t I think of that? Joe (Solo): Ah, you’ll learn. Steve (Solo): Hey, can I talk to my friend out there? (Cut back to the duo) G-man: Yo! He never forgot me! Oh, joyous day! (Cut back to the episode) Josh (Singing): We are gonna play Blue’s Clues- (Talking) Wait… I don’t know how to play Blue’s Clues. Um… (To audience) Well, I think I’m gonna need some more help. Jack (V.O): Uh, question: How does he know the name of Blue’s Clues, but doesn’t know how to play it? G-man (V.O): Rookie mistake. Won’t happen again. We then get our usual song about how to play, and then we quickly find our first clue: A cup. Josh: Well, you can’t eat a cup for a snack. (Cut back to the duo) Jack: I don’t know… Have you seen Fear Factor? Pretty sure a cup is considered normal for them to eat. (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): We then meet up with Mr. Salt, Mrs. Pepper, and the older versions of Paprika and Cinnamon. Josh: Hi, Mr. Salt. Hi, Mrs. Pepper. Mrs. Pepper: Hello! Josh: And Paprika. Cinnamon, sup? Cinnamon: Yo, Josh! (He fist-bumps Josh before we cut back to the duo who is taken aback) G-man: Did Cinnamon just say "Yo"? (The scene plays again) Childhoods… They grow up so fast, don’t they? (Cut back to the episode) Jack (V.O): After we identify shapes, we get our second clue; a straw. After that, we get the mail. Sing it, now! Josh (Singing): Here’s the mail! It never fails! It makes me want to wag my tail! When it comes I wanna wail; MAIL! (Cut back to the duo) G-man: I’m so glad they kept the original song, but used a different beat! Be hip with the kids, yo! (Cut back to the episode) Josh: No letter, Mailbox? Mailbox: Nope. You got an email! (Cut back to the duo) Duo (Simultaneously): A what-now? (Cut back to the episode) Josh: An email! That’s new! G-man (V.O solo): We’re getting emails from now on? Is Mailbox out of a job? He’s probably out there silently cursing Josh’s notebook/phone like (As Mailbox) "(Censored) that phone, (Censored) that phone, mother-(Censored) that phone!"! (In normal voice) But oh well. We get some kids complementing Josh, and then Blue skidoos into a farm. Josh: Blue just Skidooed into that picture! How did she do that? Jack (V.O solo): Actually, that’s a good question! It’s never explained as to how the skidoo works, or where it came from. For all we know, it’s either time travel, or dimension hopping. Anyway, we find the matching chicks, we find our third and final clue; a cow. Thus, the answer to Blue’s Clue is that she wants milk with her snack. G-man (V.O): After we sing our goodbye song, we end the first episode. (Cut to episode two) Episode two is titled Playdate with Magenta which is a remake of Magenta Comes Over. Here we go! We get a call that Blue’s friend Magenta is coming over, and we’re playing Blue’s Clues to figure out what Blue wants to do when Magenta arrives. Josh: Y’know, I’m really gonna need your help. Will you help me? (He gives the audience some time to respond) You will? Great! (Cut back to the duo) G-man: Hey, man! We just kept quiet! Jack: Way to assume! (Cut back to the episode) Jack (V.O): We then find the first clue; Josh! Josh: I-I’m the first clue! You know, I’ve always wanted to be a clue, and I’ve waited for so long, and then now finally! Ah! It’s here! G-man (V.O snickering): Wow, dude! Chill! You’re literally fanboying right now! Anyway, after we write the clue down in the Handy Dandy Notebook, we meet up with Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper. Josh: Hi, Mr. Salt. Mrs. Pepper. What’re you doing? Mr. Salt: Hi, Josh! Mrs. Pepper: Hello! (To Blue) Hello, Blue! (Blue barks “Hello!”) Mr. Salt: We’re making a snack… Mrs. Pepper: …For when Magenta comes over! Josh: Oh, great! What kind of snack are you making? Mr. Salt: We’re making… (Along with Mrs. Pepper) Race cars! (Solo) Yes, race cars made out of, get this, food! One for Magenta… Mrs. Pepper: …And one for Blue! (Cut back to the duo) G-man: Must resist urge to make a Cloudy with A Chance of Meatballs joke… Jack: I would’ve gone for Rhett and Link’s cheese wheels on a car video, but that works, too! (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): After making our food race cars, we find our second clue; smile. (Cut back to the duo where Pinkie Pie is suddenly in-between them) Pinkie: Someone call? G-man: Oh! No, sorry. We’re just reviewing Blue’s- Jack: Where did you come from? Pinkie: I dunno. I’m just there whenever I’m needed! Jack: Oookaaay. Anyway… (Cut back to the episode) Jack (V.O): We meet Shovel and Pail at the playground via skidooing, and they need our help finding their friends. Afterwards, we get another email, and then we find our third clue: Josh’s notebook/phone. (Cut back to the duo with Pinkie gone from the scene) G-man: Y’know, there’s gotta be a better way to reference that thing other than saying "Notebook/phone". Let’s call it a "Phonebook". Jack: Well, that name’s already taken, so let’s go with "Literal Phonebook". G-man: Agreed. (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): The answer to Blue’s Clues is that Blue wants us to take a picture of her and Magenta and say "Smile". After doing so, we sing our goodbye song, and episode two ends there. (Cut back to the duo) G-man: And that was Blue’s Clues & You! Judging by these two episodes, I love it as much as the original. Sure, it remade episodes we saw before in the classic series, but they did it very well! (To Jack) Well, Jack, thanks for joining me! Jack: Hey, anytime! Bye! (He gets up and leaves) G-man: Bye! (Under his breath) Man, he so needs forehead reduction surgery! (In normal tone) Well, I am the G-man, and that’s all you need to know about that! Peace! Category:Episode